You're gonna do it?" I'm gonna do it. Right now." Whereupon I took a deep breath, looked into her eyes, and just said it. "Amanda, will you go out to dinner with me tonight?"Chapter TwelveAmandaI was completely, utterly, shocked.I had started this little conversation to get the subject of the lingering crush out of the way. When I realized it wasn't out of the way, I thought I had blown it. So, I put the mask on, of course. Good ol' Amanda, doing the Buddy thing, pumping my Buddy up. What else could I do? Except pray the mysterious crush would turn him down. But I thought I had lost.And then I found out differently. I had no idea.I said the only thing I could come up with. "Me? You've been talking about ME?" Yeah," he admitted."How long?" Oh, since seventh grade."Seventh grade?!?!? Oh my Jesus. And then the horrible truth dawned on me. "Jared, you can't possibly still feel that way." Why not?" he asked, confused."Because you know the truth! For four years, you've had a crush on an. Her father could not bear to look at it, shoved it towards me, told me to take it and go."Find her if you can and return it to me when you find her or give up looking," He said to me as I was leaving.When I finally got supper going, ate and did the dishes it was 10 pm with a light storm brewing outside. The Journal started:I am starting this journal for you the reader to find me and my now presumed dead sister. I have an incurable form of cancer which will be getting progressively more painful with time. I have decided that a shot of morphine should give me a dignified peaceful end instead of a painful unaware end in a sterile hospital. By the time you find this I shall be dead near the co-ordinates below.Our father never approved of Marie's drug dealer former boyfriend Jason. I was not too happy about the relationship, but glad she confided in me and now I know where he hung out. I asked around and knew people who knew where they both used to travel around. Mostly they would just.
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